Okay I have had some more time to wrap my hands, errr, head around this whole Corey McIntyre masturbation story and I have to admit, I just don’t get it.
Let’s examine each of member of the Bills and how he was arrested over the past year:
Marshawn Lynch: Late on the night of June 1st, 2008 Lynch, after leaving a downtown bar, stuck a pedestrian in his automobile. Injuries to the young woman were limited and given the fact that Lynch left the scene of the crime there is no way to tell he was drunk.
Now, let’s be honest with each other, if this happened to one of your friends, you wouldn’t be totally surprised right? I mean, granted, this is a terrible thing to happen but I think we all know someone who has had a few too many cocktails and gotten behind the wheel. I am sure we would all like to believe that if we were to strike a pedestrian with our automobile we would stop and turn ourselves in. And more than likely I am sure that would be the case but if this happened to one of your college friends you would think to yourself, “shit man, that sucks” and go back to your day to day life. Sadly, shit like this happens all of the time.
Ko Simpson: Simpson got shitfaced and acted like a hardass. Hell, I do this at least once a week. Generally, I say that I am worth “thousands” but it essentially the same thing. I would go as far as to say that if I were an NFL player and I was in the process of getting arrested that I would probably drop a “don’t you know who I am?”. Again, I am not justifying his actions but c’mon, this is exactly how an NFL player should get arrested, it is not a big deal and, if anything, it is pretty funny.
Marshawn Lynch (again): Lynch was arrested for getting high in a car with a concealed weapon inside of the automobile. If you haven’t even gotten high inside of a parked car, well, you are in the minority of those reading this right now. As for the gun charge, well, I don’t know anyone who carries a gun but then again, I fully expect all NFL players to have guns so I am not in anyway surprised.
Donte Whitner: As far as I am concerned Whitner’s biggest crime was hanging out with a member of the Miami Dolphins the night that he was tased by Cleveland Police. Again, with Whitner, he got too drunk and acted up. Thankfully, I don’t put myself in situations where the police are involved all too often when I am drinking, but if I thought my friends were getting treated unfairly by Police I might act up,or even, act a fool. This, like the Simpson arrest, is exactly how I expect NFL players to get arrested. He gets too drunk and given the aggressive nature of his profession he knows nothing else but to act disorderly and aggressive. Was it a black eye to the team? Of course, but then again, things like this happen to players on each and every team.
Corey McIntyre: I have no explanation for this. I have no idea what on earth made Corey McIntyre think that it was okay to knock on a woman’s door and proceed to jerk off in front of her. AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING NO LESS! Did Lynch, Simpson, Lynch again, and Whitner, embarrass the team? Yeah but hell, they were all arrested for doing exactly what I expect football players to get arrested for : getting drunk (or high) and being an asshole. McIntyre can’t even use the drunk excuse. Shit, it was 8:30 in the morning! That is not to say I haven’t been drunk at 8:30 in the morning but I can say without a question that I have not gone for a bike ride 2 hours afterwards. Which, to me, proves that he is just a weirdo and not a drunken asshole like the other players who were arrested.
I think that this is, without question, the most embarrassing thing that someone could possibly be arrested for, especially someone in the public eye. That is not to say that rape or murder aren’t worse, they obviously are but come on, who in the hell masturbates in front of a stranger’s house? Especially at 8:30 AM only to go for a bike ride afterwards!
Congratulations, Corey McIntyre, you have officially made the Bills organization look even lousier.
Tags: Buffalo Bills, Corey McIntyre, Criminals, Donte Whiter, Drunk in the afternoon, Ko Simpson, Marshawn Lynch
May 18, 2009 at 6:55 pm |
Corey would’ve been a hit on the Love Boat.
(Insert purple helmet joke here.)
June 10, 2009 at 6:58 pm |
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